I was on craiglist looking for a bookshelf and decided to check the personals. I found an interesting post by what appeared to be a normal, funny, intelligent guy and wrote him back. He said my email made him laugh out loud so I won "Best Reponse" and there would be a parade in my honor and a $5 gift certificate to a coffee shop of his choosing. All very clever and cute, right? Oh, did I mention he's 5 years younger? Does that matter?
So he mentioned he'd be at a coffeeshop at 6ish and I said I had plans to grab drinks with friends before going to the Brandi Carlisle concert (which was great by the way!) but that I'd try to stop by.
So I walk in and there aren't many guys to choose from. I decide I like the looks of one and go up to him and introduce myself, "Hi! I'm JM!" He looked a little taken aback, but then quite pleased that I'd decided to talk to him out of the blue. "Hi! I'm B!" and we had a great conversation and I like him... but he was not the guy I was supposed to meet. I decided it was getting late so I'd just head to my next destination.
Once outside, however, I ran into a man who told me he was "the king of Denmark, Sweden, Norway and Spain" and that he and McCauley Culkin were working on a project together, and had been for quite some time, but not to worry because Morgan Freeman is their ambassador. I felt the need to escape the sidewalk (and "His Majesty") so I went back into the coffee shop, but not before the king put me in "HOUSE ARREST! FOR LIFE" and thanked me for the vote of confidence before bowing and muttering a word of farewell, which I am sure was a mixture of Danish, Swedish, Norwegian and Spanish (it made that much sense).
Once inside, I decided to take a seat. I contemplated going back to sit with Brian and asking him to protect me from the evil king, but then I noticed another guy who kept turning around and glancing at me and figured he was the one I was supposed to meet. I was a little disappointed. R is nice but a little "down" you know? Not really enthused about anything and sort of stuck in his ways. Not really engaged in life. A fly-fisherman lacking the philosophy that makes fly-fishermen interesting.
I took a deep breath, walked over and pulled out a chair and said, "Please tell me you're not the King of Sweden, Denmark or Spain." I told him the story, which is a good icebreaker, and asked how his day was, "terrible, really." and it went on from there. Oh. He's a downer. I tried to bring it up. I talked about literature. He only seems to like Steinbeck. Apparently literature needs to be depressing. He had bad posture and kept his computer between us the entire time. I gave it a good shot. I was charming. I left at 6:55 to go to the next stop and enjoyed the concert a lot! He emailed me again. A very nice email. I'm more attracted to his emails than to him. It's sad how often that happens to me, really. I want to go back and see if B is there but I'm in no mood for R right now.
This morning, M. sent me a text telling me how great it smelled outside and that he was thinking of me (when I stay there, I walk with him and his dog at 5 am) and then he sent me another one later telling me the sunrise was beautiful, which it was, so I went out for a run to enjoy it. Ah, M, my sort-of-dating lover-person who wants to be free to sleep with any other women who show interest in him (not many, so far as I know). He's still the best one. And what, I ask you, does that say about me?
No more Craigslist. I'm just going to go up to interesting men and pretend I was supposed to meet someone on a blind date or someone I met online and ask them if they are said man. Nothing like starting a relationship with a little deception...I mean, that's what the wonderbra is based on, right?
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