Ukemochi, the Japanese Shinto goddess of transformation, was killed by a god she offended (OK, she vomited on him) but then she transformed into beautiful and amazing things. It is my hope that, like with poor Ukemochi, good things will come of this spewing forth of words.
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
I Need a Full Length Mirror
Today I am wearing new white trousers with black pin stripes and a slinky black v-neck sweater.
I'm hot.
"Are you pregnant?" she asked me.
"Um, no."
"Oh, I thought maybe you were a couple months along."
OOOOhhhhh - that happened to me once! I still wear the outfit. Only jerk face losers ask someone if they are pregnant. Dave Barry once said, never assume a woman if she is pregnant unless you actually see the child coming out of her.
OH good idea Adub - make sure you're in the smokiest cigar bar in town too. Maybe she thought you were prego because you had that glow of hotness and she mistakened it for the glow of baby to come.
7 comments:
OOOOhhhhh - that happened to me once! I still wear the outfit. Only jerk face losers ask someone if they are pregnant. Dave Barry once said, never assume a woman if she is pregnant unless you actually see the child coming out of her.
Who is this "she"? You are most definitely hot and NOT pregnant.
Next time you wear the outfit, make sure that you are smoking AND drinking.
OH good idea Adub - make sure you're in the smokiest cigar bar in town too. Maybe she thought you were prego because you had that glow of hotness and she mistakened it for the glow of baby to come.
I DON"T KNOW - just trying to help somehow.
Or you could have said, "Why no, I haven't seen your husband for some time."
TerrDogg
Terrdogg,you make me laugh out loud!
SNAP! Good one TerrDogg!
All excellent ideas. Too bad I can never think of anything so witty on the spot.
Dad, I'll store that one away and pull it out quickly the next time I need it. Thanks!
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