Wednesday, June 14, 2006

She Speaks

Another person has quit at work and I took the opportunity to tell the Dr. what I think needs to happen for things to change - for people not to quit. It's a risk and I know it, but he just looks at me while I talk and then:

I like you, he said. You speak your mind.

I looked over my shoulder. Me? The one whose words stuck in her throat and festered in her belly, I have learned to speak my truth - compassionately.

I don't know how it happened.

That's not true. I know. I was afraid. Afraid I would fail. Afraid I'd be alone. Afraid to lose everything if I said the wrong thing.

Being ill taught me that there is always something to lose and maybe the whole reason I had it in the first place was so I could lose it.

When I whined my mother would say, Use your words, honey.

I finally have.

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