Is it worth it, writing this way, putting it out here? There is the good- the unexpected support, and then there is the bad - the unexpected criticism.
Here is how my most recent interaction with criticism has resolved:
I apologized profusely. I deleted the offensive writing. I got mad at myself for deleting. I told my writing class. Some were outraged on my behalf. Some said that we live in a society and have to face the consequences of our actions - including the use of words.
And the words continued. The person I hurt and I - we tried talking on the phone, but that is not a medium with which I am comfortable. "This is awkward." I said. "I'll - I'll have to talk to you later. Bye (click)." So we emailed. He used the word "respect" more than was necessary. I used the words "sorry" and "it was about me." It was not fun.
But here is the interesting thing - I stayed in the room. This is something that writing has taught me. Staying with the scary or uncomfortable topic - pushing through the pain - as CMM says - it prepared me for staying engaged in a conversation over my intention, my impact, and my need to write no matter what happens. We each stated our case and then we BOTH apologized. And I received a gift: I had the opportunity to see how much I value my relationships - including the relationship with my "voice. "
I'm exhausted, but it was worth it.
7 comments:
i was in something like this recently. i offended with the spoken word tho. apologies had to happen and retractions. later i thought...was what i said really such a big deal??? I'm still not happy about how it all went down.
I wonder if it's a coincidence that "word" and "sword" are so similar. As an Eglish major, I was never trained in the art of swordsmanship.
Good luck, lh.
I like how you Oprahed the situation and discovered what was to be learned from it. Can I coin that verb usage?
that reminds me of a scene in real world a few weeks ago, when Wes said to rachel, "i'm going to have doctor phil your ass." Meaning he was going to do a little pop psychology work on her latest problem.
Yes! Let's turn all Pop Culture into verbs.
hmm.
just reading about this conflict this has had me anxious on your behalf. it was interesting, too, because i loved 'yoga-bitch,' and i thought it was some of your best work.
the problem is that your blog is NOT you and its NOT true, but rather it is a text and the people in it are characters... but not everyone understands that.
i self-censor quite frequently because i know who reads it -- if i were just writing for jdoc and lh and you... then, it would probably be a lot different.
but YES. it's worth it. keep writing. and congratulations on the good inter-personal interactions.
Kc - you are such a blogging mentor! I am so interested in the blog as text and I'm intrigued by your work on it. You're out in front of an interesting movement - I feel.
Thanks for the encouragement!
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